Do You Want This?
by MerlexAddict2017
Summary: "Do you want this? Do you really want this?" What would have happened if Jackson had stopped April from signing the divorce papers. Are they able to work things out?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is about what might have happened if Jackson had stopped April from signing the divorce papers in season 12. Some of the words have been taken from the show, but I'm made some changes on the outcome of the situation. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter One**

 **April**

"Do you want this? Do you really want this?"

His eyes looked at me so hard that I felt him tear into my soul. The silence was deafening, but if this is what he wanted, this is what we would do. I picked up my pen, ready to sign my name.

"Wait."

I could hear my heart beating in my chest. Louder than it had been before. Did he just tell me to wait?

"April, wait. This is not what I want."

I sat there shocked and confused. He just told me to wait.

"This is all out of anger. I'm angry with you. But I still love you. I always have. I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love."

I sat there stunned. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

"Jackson, I…I…"

I was lost for words. This was everything I wanted for the last year. I know he was mad at me, he had every right to be. I abandoned him when he needed me the most. I lost a part of me when Samuel died, but so did he. I love Jackson, he has been my best friend for years and we have been through so much together.

"April. I want to work this out. Signing these papers isn't going to help anything. Even if I sign this paper, I'm still going to love you."

I sat there in shock not knowing what to say. I looked at him sympathetically not knowing if I should laugh or if I should cry. The lawyers were just sat there stunned. One of the lawyers finally speaks up after what seems like hours of silence.

"Dr. Avery, Dr. Kepner? What's going on here?

I sat there, still too shocked to speak. Jackson knew this and spoke up.

"We're done here. We won't be signing any papers today."

The lawyers, both very confused, nodded, gathered their things and prepared to leave. Myself and Jackson were still sat at the table looking at each other, trying to read each other's minds. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had been trying for months to fix this. To fix what I broke. And now? What changed?

"Jackson, I don't even know what to say. I've been trying to fix this for months now and you wanted no part and now, all of a sudden you want to work things out? What changed?"

"I sat here looking at you and when I look into your eyes, I can still see the person I fell in love with. That wide-eyed dopey, full of life intern who wanted to be a doctor with set hours so she had time to raise her three kids. You've changed, but deep down you're still that person. When I look at you, I feel the deep pain we went through, but I also feel the strength that radiates though your body. April, you…us, we've been through so much, there are so many reasons why we should end it, but there are so many more reasons why we should keep trying. I don't know if we can fix us, but I want to try. I want you, April. I need you. Ending our marriage right now would be a waste because I will never love anyones much as I love you. I will never be able to stop loving you."

"Jackson, I don't even know what to say. I still love you. I never stopped. I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused you. I know that when Samuel died, I wasn't there for you. I shut you out and you needed to grieve too and that wasn't fair to you. You lost just as much as I did, but you lost something more, because you lost me too. A part of me died with Samuel, and I don't think I'll ever get that back, but he was your son too. You lost him too and I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge that. I know me leaving for a year and then coming back and then leaving again was not easy on you, nor was it fair. You needed me and I wasn't there for you."

I wanted to say more but I stopped talking because I could see the tears filling up in his eyes. I stood up from my seat and walked towards him. I wanted to hold him, but I approached carefully, not wanting to seem aggressive. As I got closer he grabbed me with his arms and pulled me in and kissed me. It was one of those kisses that was filled with so much passion and so much desire. He hadn't kissed me like that in a while. When we stopped I realized my shirt was wet from his tears. As we pulled away he gave me a sympathetic look. His eyes still glossy from the tears and the confusion. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what he wanted me to say. I know what I wanted to say, but I couldn't, not yet.

"So where do we go from here?"

"I think we both leave and go home. Give ourselves sometime to think about what just happened and then we'll talk. I want to work this out, but I don't want our emotions getting in the way of that. I want to do this right this time."

I nodded in agreement. I did want to go home with him and talk right then, but I knew what that would lead to, and I knew that it not how we fix this. We walked out to our cars together. At this point I had tears in my eyes. This is not how I thought this would go. I never thought I would be feeling these feelings. We got down to our cars. He stopped me before I had a chance to get in mine. He grabbed my hand, and wiped the tears from my eyes. The next thing I knew we were kissing again. The passion was incredible. Before he left, he gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me we would talk tomorrow. I got in my car and just sat there. I wasn't even sure if I remembered how to drive.

When I finally arrived home I went and crashed on the couch. I knew Arizona would be home soon, and I wasn't even sure how to tell her what just happened. A few minutes later she came home with bags of food and liquor.

"I wasn't sure what you'd want, so I got pretty much everything."

"I'm fine. I don't really want anything right now."

"You just signed divorce papers and you don't…"

I cut her off before she had a chance to finish her sentence.

"We didn't sign them…"

It was a good thing she had already laid the bags on the counter because I'm sure she would have dropped them on the floor if she hadn't.

"What do you mean you didn't sign them?"

"We didn't sign them. I mean we were going to. I was going to, but he stopped me. When I asked him if this is what he really wanted, he stopped me."

Arizona's eyes were wide. Wide with excitement, but also with confusion.

"Oh my god, April"

"So we didn't sign them, he told me he still loved me and then he kissed me. And then we left in separate cars and he told me we'd talk tomorrow."

"I don't even know what to say. This is not how I thought this was going to turn out. I'm happy for you though. He has always loved you."

"I know. I've never stopped loving him. We still have a lot to figure out, but I think we can work this out. I think we're going to be okay."

"Alright then. So we should celebrate. Red wine or white?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"No wine. You just saved your marriage and you don't want to drink? What's wrong with you? What are you pregnant?"

She asked jokingly, but the look on my face said it all.

"Oh April. Does Jackson know?"

"Not yet. I wanted to tell him. I almost did, but it wasn't the right time. I want us to be alright before I tell him. I want us to be happy."

Arizona sat next to me on the couch and took my hand in hers. She looked at me lovingly and I lay my head on her shoulder.

"Congratulations."

I smiled and thanked her. I thought about telling Jackson. I want everything to work out. I want to see him as a dad, holding our baby and not having to let go. I want to be a happy family. We will be happy and our baby will be healthy. This is our second chance and I'm not screwing it up this time.

 **I hope you guys liked the first chapter! Please let me know what you think and if you think I should continue writing!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them. This chapter highlights the same events from chapter one, only it's from Jackson's point of view.**

 **Chapter Two**

 **Jackson**

 _If you love someone you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared it will cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground. You say it. You say it loud. – Mark Sloan_

As I sat there in the chair opposite to April, the memory of the day she was supposed to marry Matthew flashed through my mind. I remember every word I said to her that day and I meant every one of them. When I stood up in front of all those people and confessed my love for April I didn't know what would happen. I didn't know if she would pick me, but I never imagined we would be here.

"This is one of the simpler divorces…"

The lawyer kept speaking, but I wasn't listening. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear him. I couldn't hear anything. I was so consumed in my thoughts that it even took me a few seconds to register that April had spoken to me.

"Do you want this? Do you really want this?"

I stared into her eyes trying to remember every moment, every second we've been together. When I looked into her eyes I could see how broken she was, but I could also see her strength. She was so strong. She had been through so much. We had been through so much together. But I was still so angry with her. She left me when I needed her the most. We lost our baby and I lost her. But I still love her. No matter how hard I try I cannot stop loving her. I could see her grab the pen to sign the papers and fear radiated through my body.

"Wait."

I continued to stare deep into her soul and I could see how confused she was. She spoke, but I still could not register what she was saying.

"April, wait. This is not what I want. This is all out of anger. I'm angry with you. But I still love you. I always have. I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like I love."

I wasn't sure what I was doing. I was saying all these things. I meant what I was saying but I wasn't sure why I was even saying them. It was like the day I stopped her wedding all over again. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I knew I couldn't lose her. She is everything to me and I'm not sure if we can work this out, but I have to try. Even if it burns my life to the ground, I have to try because I love her.

I could tell she was in shock because she was stumbling on her words and she didn't know what to say.

"April. I want to work this out. Signing these papers isn't going to help anything. Even if I sign this paper, I'm still going to love you."

I could feel my body shaking and my eyes fill with tears. No one in the room was saying anything. Everyone was silent. No one knew who should make the next move. Finally, after what seemed like ages one of the lawyers spoke up.

"Dr. Avery, Dr. Kepner? What's going on here?"

I looked across the table at April. She was in shock. She had no idea what to say and I knew she was waiting for me to say something.

"We're done here. We won't be signing any papers today."

I knew the lawyers were so confused. I doubt this happened very often. They gathered their things and I just sat there looking at April. She was so beautiful. She was everything I wanted in life and I hated myself for almost losing her. I was still angry at her, and I probably would be for a while, but I still love her. I never stopped loving her. Finally, she spoke. I don't know if she finally got the courage to say something, or if I was able to finally hear again.

"Jackson, I don't even know what to say. I've been trying to fix this for months now and you wanted no part and now, all of a sudden you want to work things out? What changed?"

The funny thing was nothing had changed. We were still the same people we were five minutes ago; the same people we were last week. We were meant to be. We couldn't be apart from each other. Not anymore. Losing her would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

"I sat here looking at you and when I look into your eyes, I can still see the woman I fell in love with. That wide-eyed dopey, full of life intern who wanted to be a doctor with set hours so you had time to raise your three kids. You've changed, but deep down you're still that person. When I look at you, I feel the deep pain we went through, but I also feel the strength that radiates though your body. April, you…us, we've been through so much, there are so many reasons why we should end it, but there are so many more reasons why we should keep trying. I want you April. I need you. Ending our marriage would be a waste because I will never be able to stop loving you."

I could hear the confusion, as well as the sadness in her voice when she spoke. She told me she was sorry, I knew that. I know a part of her died when Samuel did, but a part of me died too and when she left I was so alone. Everything I needed was gone. I needed her and she left me, and I know how sorry she feels for that. She wouldn't have fought so hard for the last year if she wasn't sorry. She wanted to save us. I let my anger and my pride get in the way of what I really needed, and that was her.

By this time my eyes were filled with fresh tears and I know that she noticed. She got up from her chair and started to walk towards me. I thought about telling her to stop or pushing her away, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I wanted to hold her in my arms. The second she got close enough, I grabbed her and kissed her. I could feel the love and the passion in the kiss. We hadn't kissed like that in a long time. I missed it. When I pulled away from her but I continued to look into her eyes. I think I was still searching for answers. Why did we let it get this far? Why did we let it get this bad? I didn't know what else to say until she spoke up.

"So where do we go from here?"

"I think we both leave and go home. Give ourselves sometime to think about what just happened and then we'll talk. I want to work this out, but I don't want our emotions getting in the way of that. I want to do this right this time."

I didn't want to go home alone, I wanted her to come with me, but I knew what would happen if we left together and that's not how we fix this. We have to do it right. We walked down to our cars side, by side. April went to get in hers when I stopped her. I could see the tears in her eyes. I grabbed her hand and wiped away the tears and kissed her again. There was so much love and I can't believe I almost lost it. I kissed her on the forehead and told her we would talk tomorrow. I sat my car as I watched her drive away.

I had intended on driving home but somehow I ended up at Joe's. When I got there, Ben, Alex and Owen were sat at the bar. I went over and joined them.

"Avery. Take a seat and grab a beer."

"I heard today was the day. I'm sorry man, we're here for you."

"I've been divorced before. It sucks for a while, but then you get over it."

I wasn't even sure how to tell them. I was going to get divorced, but I decided not to?

"Guys, I didn't do it."

The three of them stopped what they were doing and just looked at me. The look of confusion and bewilderment on their faces was enough to make me want to run away.

"What do you mean you didn't do it? Did April not show up?

"She did. We didn't sign the papers."

The look of confusion on their faces grew by the second and the more I spoke.

"I realized while I was sat in there, looking at April that I couldn't let her go. I'm still angry with her, but I couldn't let her go because I was angry. We've been through so much together, more than anyone should have to go through and we're still alive. We've survived so much and I really believe we can work this out. I wasn't trying before. I was being stubborn and trying to save my pride, but in doing that I almost lost something that is so much more important. April is the love of my life and even if I had signed those papers, I wouldn't have stopped loving her."

Owen smiled at me and Ben gave me a pat on the back while Alex just looked at me, knowing I was right and also knowing that he should do what I've just done. I drank my beer and said goodnight to the guys.

I headed home, alone. I just hoped it would be the last night I would be alone. This was our second chance and I'm not screwing it up this time.

 **Please let me know what you guys think. I know a lot was repeated from chapter one, but I wanted to highlight both Jackson and April's point of views in the situation. Hopefully you all enjoyed. Let me know what you think and if it's worth continuing.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone for your reviews and follows. I appreciate each and every one of them. This chapter is a little shorter, but hopefully you still enjoy it. I want Japril to be together so bad, and I want everything happy, no shouting matches, so this is my take on what could/should/might have happened. Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **Chapter Three**

I remember waking up the next morning very abruptly. I woke up confused, confused about the dream that I just had, but the only thing is, it wasn't a dream, it was real life. We never actually signed the divorce papers, he actually stopped me. Jackson still wanted to be with me, he still loved me.

I got up and started to make breakfast. I wasn't hungry, but I knew if I didn't eat I'd be grumpy and I couldn't be grumpy, not today. As I was getting things ready my phone went off. I knew Jackson said we'd talk tomorrow, but when he said it I wasn't really sure if I believed him. I picked up my phone expecting it not to be him but it was. He wanted me to come over to talk. I told him I would be there soon.

I remember getting into the car to drive to Jackson's house, but I don't remember the drive. I was so consumed into my own thoughts that I don't remember driving there. I was on autopilot. I walked up to the door and knocked. He answered almost immediately, as if he was sat by the door waiting for me.

"Hi."

"Hi."

He gestured for me to come in and I followed him to the living room where we both sat down. We sat there for a long time before either one of us spoke. The memories of everything that have happened in that house came flooding back to me. We stared into each other's eyes trying to figure out what the other one was thinking. His eyes were so green, they were beautiful. I hated myself for not noticing how beautiful they were. It was something so small, but something so big. How had I not noticed his eyes before? Samuel had his eyes. Samuel had looked just like Jackson and I never even noticed. I started to hate myself for not noticing these things when Jackson spoke up.

"April, I thought long and hard about what I was going to say to you. I was up all night thinking about you. Every memory I have of you flashed through my head. And I realized that the best memories I have in my life, are the times I've spend with you. You have made my life better. You have helped me grow and have helped me learn. When I stopped you from signing that paper yesterday, I stopped us from making the biggest mistake of our lives. You always knew that we were meant to be. You tried so hard to get me to see that. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize. You are the love of my life. You make my life better by just being in it. When we lost Samuel, we lost pieces of us. Parts of us broke apart and we let those broken parts win. Sure, we're still broken, a part of us will probably always be broken, but if we stick together, we can be less broken. I am still mad at you for leaving me when I needed you the most. I needed to grieve Samuel's death just as much as you did, and I needed to do that with you, but you left me. I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive you for that, but if not forgiving you means losing you, then I forgive you. My pride is not worth losing you. I realized that if I lose you, I will have lost everything in my life that is worth living for."

I sat there in complete silence. I was so wrapped up in what he was saying to me that I didn't even realized there were tears streaming down my cheeks. Jackson moved closer to me on the couch and put his arm around me. He wiped away the tears that were on my cheeks. I looked at him in the eyes and realized he had been crying too. He wants to fix us. He wants to be together.

"Jackson, for the last year I have been trying to fix what I broke. I broke you and I hurt you so much and I will never forgive myself for that. What I did was selfish, I was trying to fix myself and I forgot all about you. You have been there for me through the hardest moments of my life and you never once left me. You were always there for me. I love you. I've loved you for so long. You are a piece of me and I don't ever want to lose you. I don't know if I can survive that. I love you too much."

The next thing I knew we were staring into each other's eyes and he pressed his forehead against mine and my lips against his. The passion was still radiating through our bodies. I could feel the warmth of his body and the touch of his hands going through my hair. I wanted to remember this moment. I wanted to remember everything thing about him. From now on I would pay attention to the little things, like how green his eyes are or how his smile lights up a room. I want to remember the little things, because suddenly the little things are the big things.

Jackson got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to get me a drink. I hadn't even asked for one, but he knew I needed one. He handed me the glass of water and sat back down next to me.

"I'm not sure where your mind is, but I want you to move back home. We've been through so much and there are so many memories in this house, good and bad, but I want to make more memories. I want the good memories to be remembered more than the bad ones. We still need to take this slow and works things out, but I want you here with me. I don't want to be alone anymore."

"I would like that. I don't want to have to come home alone anymore. I don't want to have to say goodbye to you anymore. You are my home. My home is wherever you are."

He smiled at me knowing I was right. We were never home when we weren't together. We hadn't been home for a very long time.

I've waited for this moment for so long. Honestly I never thought it would come. I prayed every day for us to find our way back to each other, and I really thought it would never happen, but now that it has, I feel like everything has just fallen back into place. We can finally move on from this, we can finally be happy again. Jackson was sat there just smiling at me. He was so perfect, this moment was perfect. And I knew exactly how to make this moment even more perfect.

"Jackson…"

He looked up from his thoughts and stared me right in the eyes.

"…I have something to tell you."

The glow in his eyes quickly turned to what looked like fear. He was fearful of what I was about to say and I suddenly became fearful to say it. Was this going to change everything? Was the memory of last time going to be too much for us? Would everything be ok this time? Would the pain tear us apart again? I suddenly found myself unable to speak. I could see the growing concern in his eyes and my eyes began to fill with tears. I had to tell him.

"I'm pregnant."

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know if you have any ideas on where I should go next with this. I want to write what you guys will enjoy reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who wrote reviews on the previous chapters. I love reading each and every one of them. Sorry this one took so long, but hopefully you all enjoy.**

* * *

 **April**

The world was silent. In that moment, there was no sound. I could hear the blood rushing through my body as I awaited some kind of reaction.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"Jackson, I'm pregnant."

I could tell by his eyes that his mind was racing. He didn't know what to say. Or maybe he did and he just didn't know how.

"What? April. How? When?"

"Well I know exactly how, but I'm not exactly sure when, but I would probably narrow it down to that night I came over to talk and we didn't really do much talking…"

By this point Jackson was stood up and he was pacing the floor. I couldn't tell if he was excited or mad, or nervous. Maybe a combination of all those things. Jackson was usually the calm one. But right now he was anything but calm. I didn't blame him, I mean two days ago we were filing for divorce and now we're getting back together and having a baby. It's a lot to take in. He finally stopped pacing the floor and just stared at me.

"We're having a baby?"

"We're having a baby."

Tears began to fill my eyes and he came over and picked me up in his arms and spun me around. In that moment nothing else mattered. He was happy, I was happy. It seemed like everything that had happened over the last year didn't matter anymore. All the fighting and arguing and lawyers, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the two of us and our baby.

He put me back down and kissed me and then placed his hand on my belly. He spoke to the baby. Told the baby he was its daddy and he loved him/her very much. His eyes were glowing. I never thought that after everything that happened with Samuel he would be so open to another baby. I know he was the one who tried to convince me that we should try for another one, but deep down I really thought he was just trying to be strong. I wasn't sure if he would be able to handle another baby so soon. I was afraid and I'm still afraid that the memory is too fresh.

"Are you ok?"

"Honestly, at first I wasn't sure. I didn't know if I should laugh or if I could cry. Memories of when you told me you were pregnant with Samuel flashed through my mind and I wasn't sure if I was ready to go there again. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough. But I looked at you and I could see your strength. You give me strength. I'm still scared, but knowing we will have each other gives me hope."

Fresh tears stung my eyes as I listened to what he had to say.

"Jackson, I've been scared since the moment I found out. Scared about how you would react, but also scared for this baby. We don't know what's going to happen, but now, knowing that I have you by my side, I feel hope. I feel hopeful that everything will work out this time. This baby will be alright and we will be happy. I believe this is our second chance at happiness. I will never forget what we went through with Samuel, but I know I will get strength from having been in that situation. We will get through this and we will do this together. We will be fine and our baby will be fine."

Jackson smiled and he pulled me close to him. We sat there together on the couch silent, just taking in the moment. In the last two hours we had come further than we had in the last year. We were finally back to where we needed to be.

We were so peaceful. Everything around us was so peaceful when Jackson shot up off the couch in a panic.

"Oh my god."

"Oh my god? What's wrong?"

He looked at me with fear in his eyes. Fear like I hadn't seen before.

"My mother."

Now I had fear in my eyes.

"Oh my god, your mother."

In everything that has happened in the last two days, we completely forgot that we weren't the only people in the world. Few people knew about what we had done, or what we hadn't done for that matter, but it was only a matter of time before word got out.

"We have to tell my mother before she finds out from someone else."

"We?"

"Umm, yes?"

"I think I'll leave that one to you. After all she is your mother."

Jackson gave me a look but he knew I would not give in. He knew that he was on his own, and he would have to tell his mother himself. She was not the easiest person to get through to and right now I wasn't really on her good side. I wished Jackson luck but I could still see the fear in his eyes.

"Maybe she won't be mad"

"Have you met my mother?"

I gave him a sympathetic smile knowing pretty well how his mother would react. She was not always the calmest person or the most reasonable.

"Maybe telling her about the baby will calm her down, help her understand."

"I'm not telling her about the baby first. I want her to know that the reason we didn't go ahead with the divorce was because we still love each other, not because you're pregnant."

I nodded in agreement. The baby wasn't the reason we didn't get divorced. When he stopped me from signing the divorce paper, he didn't even know about the baby. We had to make sure his mother knew that.

"Jackson, call her. The sooner she knows the better. I'm going to go home…back to my apartment and get some things organized. Call me later."

He kissed me before I left, knowing that the goodbyes were over left me at ease. I watched him take out his phone to call his mother before I had even left.

* * *

 **Jackson**

As I dialled her number it seemed like the world stopped. It felt like the phone just rang and rang. I had began to feel hope thinking she wasn't going to answer when I heard her voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hi, mom. How are you? Do you think you could come over? I have something I need to talk to you about?"

That was the scariest phone call I ever made to my mother, but she was coming over, so it was only going to get scarier. I sat down on the couch thinking about what I was going to say to her. How I would tell her. She had worked so hard getting me the best lawyer for the divorce, only for me to tell the lawyer to leave. She was going to be so mad. I stood up and began to pace the floor. It was an hour later when she showed up, but it had seemed like only minutes had passed when she knocked at the door.

"Hi baby."

She embraced me in a hug, unknowing what was to come.

"Come in and sit down. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine. What's wrong? You look worried."

This was it. I was going to tell her. She was going to know and there would be no turning back. I couldn't take back what I was about to say.

"I have to tell you something…"

She looked at me with a concerned look on her face and with a little fear in her eyes.

"It's about me and April."

I could tell she was becoming uneasy, not knowing where this was going. I know what she was imagining was the farthest from what was actually going to happen.

"Me and April, we…umm, we didn't sign the divorce papers."

* * *

 **Let me know what you guys think and where you think this should go. I want to write about what you guys want to read!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

 **Thank you again to everyone who wrote reviews, favourited or followed the story. It really means a lot. Sorry this chapter took so long, things have been very busy. Hopefully you guys enjoy!**

* * *

 **Jackson**

I stood there just staring at my mother, trying not to make any sudden movements and just trying to figure out if I should say something else or if I should just wait for her to say something. It seemed like an eternity before her thoughts came back into the room, though I'm sure it was only several seconds.

"What did you just say Jackson? I thought you just said you didn't get the divorce, but I'm sure I had to hear you wrong."

"No mom, your heard me correctly."

I braced myself for some kind of impact. Yelling, screaming, crying, something. But there was still nothing. She just stood there dumbfounded. I waited patiently, giving her time to process what I had just told her. My mother wasn't always the most reasoning person, especially when she wasn't happy with a situation, so I knew it was best to let her process what I had told her before speaking up to defend my reasoning. Finally, after about a minute she sat down on the couch. She looked at me, directly in the eyes. I could tell she was angry, but she also had a look of sympathy or maybe relief in her eyes, something I had not expected to see.

"What happened Jackson? Did April not show up? Did you reschedule?"

I now knew the look of relief in her eyes was from her thinking April hadn't shown up to sign the papers and that we had rescheduled. She had no idea. I grew fearful of her again. She's my mother and I love her very much, but sometimes she's scary.

"No mom, we didn't reschedule. We aren't signing the papers."

She began rubbing her palms on the couch, probably because they started to sweat. I got up from the chair next to her and got her a glass of water. I came back and handed her the glass and I could tell she was very uneasy. She didn't expect this. How could she? She had no reason to expect this. I was just as surprised it happened.

"What do you mean you aren't signing the papers? You can't get a divorce if you don't sign the papers."

"Yes mom, I know that, but we aren't getting a divorce. We were there, with the lawyers all ready to sign the papers, April was going to sign them, but I stopped her."

"You stopped her?"

"I love her, mom. I lost her before and it destroyed me. I will never love another woman as much as I love her, and I couldn't let her go. Not again."

"Jackson, did you forget that girl left you after your son died. She left you to go to the war. She didn't look back."

"I know mom. She's sorry. She's really truly sorry. We're going to work this out and fix this. When she left me she was so broken, that she didn't even know what else to do. I am still mad at her for that, but we decided to move on. Together."

I just stood there looking at my mother as she tried to process what I was telling her. I could tell she wanted to scream. She wanted to scream so loud, and I was waiting for it. I could tell by her eyes her thoughts were racing. She didn't know what to do.

"Jackson, I'm not sure I approve of what you're doing, but you are my son and I want you to be happy. Part of me believes you're making a big mistake…but a part of me believes that when it comes to April, you don't take chances and you won't take another chance on losing her, if she's what you really want."

I sat there both shocked and relieved. I didn't expect her to approve, but I was more surprised that she understood. She knows how important April is to me. She knew the pain I went through when Samuel died and when April left, but she also knew that if I let April go again, I would never be the same.

I stood up and leaned into her and embraced her in a hug. She only wanted what was best for me and I would always be grateful for that.

"Thank you, mom."

"For what, baby?"

"For just being my mom."

She pulled me in and hugged me a little tighter. She knew exactly what I needed. The moment was cut short when my phone went off. I was expecting it to be April. I knew she could be impatient and I knew she was nervous about me telling my mother about us, but to my surprise it wasn't her.

"It's the hospital. Multi-car pile-up on the highway. I'm sorry mom, I have to go."

"No worries, I'll come with you."

* * *

 **April**

The second the door closed behind me after leaving Jackson's I had been waiting for my phone to ring. I knew it could be hours before I heard from him, but I was so anxious. I have known Catherine Avery for a long time and I know she's not the easiest person to please or to get something across too. I doubted she would be too pleased with what Jackson was going to tell her.

I did everything I could to distract myself for the next couple hours. I started doing some laundry and packing things into boxes, getting them ready to move back in with Jackson. I had wanted this for so long, yet I was so unprepared. The being unprepared thought had only just come to my mind when my phone started going off. I hopped up and ran over to the counter to get my phone expecting it to be Jackson, but it wasn't. I was being paged to the hospital, multi-car pile-up on the highway. I gathered my things and headed to the hospital. I figured Jackson would have been paged too, so I would probably see him there and get to talk to him face to face.

The drive to the hospital took longer than normal, probably because of the accident. When I arrived at the hospital, the ER was chaos. I ran in and the first person I seen was Owen. I could tell he was almost run off his feet.

"Kepner, thank god. There's two more incoming, two minutes out. Be ready."

"I'm on it."

I ran and grabbed a trauma gown and put my hair up in a ponytail. I headed to the ambulance bay where Owen, Amelia and Meredith were all waiting. It was the first time I had seen any of them since I almost got divorced. I knew they all knew. I had told Arizona and I knew Jackson had told Owen, Ben and Alex, and the way gossip travels around the hospital it was only a matter of time, maybe even hours before everyone knew. They would all find out eventually, but the first encounter felt a little awkward. When I walked out there they all looked at me somewhat uneasy. Nobody knew what to say or how to start the conversation. I don't blame them. I didn't know how to start the conversation either. We stood in awkward silence for a few seconds before Amelia spoke up.

"So, you and Avery…you're together again?"

I just nodded unsure of what to say and unsure of even how to explain it in the short amount of time we had before the ambulance arrived. Owen placed his hand on my shoulder and Meredith gave me a light smile giving me some reassurance. Before I even had time to think anymore the ambulances had arrived. Owen and Amelia got the first one and myself and Meredith headed towards the second. When the ambulance doors flew open the paramedic pulled out a stretcher with what appeared to be a young girl, maybe 24 or 25. It was obvious at first glance that she had some head trauma and several facial lacerations. Meredith felt the woman's abdomen and noticed some tenderness. We both rushed her into the ER. The ER was an absolute mess. There were people everywhere. Patients, family members, doctors, everywhere. We got the patient into an open trauma room and started her work up. Meredith got an ultrasound and checked her abdomen and I checked out her head and face. It was evident that she was going to need neuro and plastics.

"Can someone page neuro and plastics for me."

It seemed as the words had only just left my mouth when Amelia came in to check the patients head injury.

"I seen her when you took her out of the ambulance. I knew you were going to need a consult."

Amelia was quick to notice she had a blown pupil and an open skull fracture and needed an OR. Not long after, Jackson walked in. I had forgotten I even paged for plastics and I forgotten that Jackson was probably the one to get the page.

"Jackson, oh, I didn't think you'd be here, yet. How, umm…"

I didn't even have the words out of my mouth when I heard the door to the trauma room open again. When I turned around to see who it was, I found myself face to face with Catherine Avery.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was a little different than the others I had posted, but hopefully you still enjoyed it. I know it's taking a long time to get to the point, but I promise once we get there, things will start to happen fast. I also wrote Catherine a little differently than she is in the show. She still the same Catherine, but not as harsh. I hope to have the next chapter up really soon. Let me know what you guys think/would like to see/would like to change!**


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